i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Holy shit dude........stairs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize