Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
