I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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