i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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