Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
