yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize