You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
