sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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