Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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