Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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