Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just want to make out with him forever
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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