so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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