Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize