i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
