i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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