No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
