Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize