We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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