yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
