idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
