We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who died my cat blue again?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
