hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
