he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
