the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
