Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
