girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
