why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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