My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
we're so committed to being not committed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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