I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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