Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
