She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
