I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
