i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
