went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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