My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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