Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
