you would pick up someone in the library
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
