I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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