I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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