I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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