remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
