so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
