i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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