Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
