I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
