apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
