dude i'm inner monologue high
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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