I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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