Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
