I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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