At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
