I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Found your dick twin last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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