Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We left an ass print on the piano.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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