sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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