I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
