Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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