if i can run in heels then i can drive
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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