i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this boner is exhausting
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
