I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
