Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
