so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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