so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
